I remember when I was just a child, I used to refer sex or mating process as "got married". When I saw street dogs mating, I'd say out loud, "Look! The dogs got married!", then my parents will shush me out. Up until now, I still find it surprising that it didn't generate any funny thinking in my child-brain, especially during the time I attended wedding ceremonies. Because if it did, I would've had the inappropriate images in my head when I see the newly wedded couples.
Based on that early sex education, I grow up thinking that it's legal to have sex ONLY after marriage. However, along my growing up path I have witnessed, heard and met people who claimed to have good knowledge of life and using it to differentiate the human needs from commitments and traditions. They presented good reasons, so I accept their opinions merely as realistic and rational fact. Not that I agree and decided to adapt their opinion as my own. As most of you may find this ridiculous, I still think that love, sex and marriage are mutually related to one another.
For people who haven't get the chance to visit the Western countries, Western movies are the only thing that previews the social life of the Western people. Most of the time, if I were asked about marriage commitment and casual sex, 1st thing that came to my mind was "American Pie". In every Western movies and sex forum, sex is an important necessity for human being and also totally different from love and marriage. It is also something really important that one should do to uphold themselves and be accepted in a social community. *Well, at least that's what I get from the US tv show...*
By Western modernization of thoughts and lifestyle, sex has become a necessity to human being instead of a sacred relationship bonding of love making to produce love. To those who rolled their eyes over after reading the previous sentence, maybe you are thinking, "Wtf? I had sex with my gf/bf and I did it with love. So it's still love making because the next day, I'll love him/her even more."
Okay, I leave your opinion with you. Still to me, what kind of love you're making if you refused babies or marriage? *I'm using OR here because nowadays people have the option to have babies without necessarily need to be married and vice-versa* The things you created from sex without the appropriate relationship bonding are enormous release of endorphins of satisfaction, sex addiction and habits. Love comes afterward... or may never come at all.
I am not preaching that people should be married first before having sex. It just bothers me that people often confuse love commitments from sex. You are in a huge love commitment if you're ready to be with your mate in hardness and sickness, and at the same time accept their personality as it is, regardless the disgusting habits and all. If you're just in for the good times and sex, then you are just in a relationship but not in love.
These are clear in most of the USA television shows nowadays. You could watch a part in a show where a couple broke up after one of them said the L word. "What?? They went out together, embracing romantically, kissing, have sex and even meet each others parents but they were not in love?" This is the idea of my people when they see that part of the show.
That's why, typical lovers who still believes in love and sex after marriage have to be extra aware and smart to dig up their mate's purpose to have a relationship. Some are just in for the good times, some other seeks for true love and some other seeks for sex. If you are not aware of your relationship status, you might get confused in a drama-like relationship and ended up broken-hearted with confusion swirling around in your head.
Start up with the commitment question before jumping into a conclusion. Try asking out this question first, "Where are we going with this relationship". Based on his/her reply, then you may ask the tougher and more serious love questions later.
Unless if you were raped by your partner, never blame your partner for having sex without being loved when you found out the he/she never really loved you. Why? Because it's always your fault by being stupid to not study your partner's intention very well.
Based on that early sex education, I grow up thinking that it's legal to have sex ONLY after marriage. However, along my growing up path I have witnessed, heard and met people who claimed to have good knowledge of life and using it to differentiate the human needs from commitments and traditions. They presented good reasons, so I accept their opinions merely as realistic and rational fact. Not that I agree and decided to adapt their opinion as my own. As most of you may find this ridiculous, I still think that love, sex and marriage are mutually related to one another.
For people who haven't get the chance to visit the Western countries, Western movies are the only thing that previews the social life of the Western people. Most of the time, if I were asked about marriage commitment and casual sex, 1st thing that came to my mind was "American Pie". In every Western movies and sex forum, sex is an important necessity for human being and also totally different from love and marriage. It is also something really important that one should do to uphold themselves and be accepted in a social community. *Well, at least that's what I get from the US tv show...*
By Western modernization of thoughts and lifestyle, sex has become a necessity to human being instead of a sacred relationship bonding of love making to produce love. To those who rolled their eyes over after reading the previous sentence, maybe you are thinking, "Wtf? I had sex with my gf/bf and I did it with love. So it's still love making because the next day, I'll love him/her even more."
Okay, I leave your opinion with you. Still to me, what kind of love you're making if you refused babies or marriage? *I'm using OR here because nowadays people have the option to have babies without necessarily need to be married and vice-versa* The things you created from sex without the appropriate relationship bonding are enormous release of endorphins of satisfaction, sex addiction and habits. Love comes afterward... or may never come at all.
I am not preaching that people should be married first before having sex. It just bothers me that people often confuse love commitments from sex. You are in a huge love commitment if you're ready to be with your mate in hardness and sickness, and at the same time accept their personality as it is, regardless the disgusting habits and all. If you're just in for the good times and sex, then you are just in a relationship but not in love.
These are clear in most of the USA television shows nowadays. You could watch a part in a show where a couple broke up after one of them said the L word. "What?? They went out together, embracing romantically, kissing, have sex and even meet each others parents but they were not in love?" This is the idea of my people when they see that part of the show.
That's why, typical lovers who still believes in love and sex after marriage have to be extra aware and smart to dig up their mate's purpose to have a relationship. Some are just in for the good times, some other seeks for true love and some other seeks for sex. If you are not aware of your relationship status, you might get confused in a drama-like relationship and ended up broken-hearted with confusion swirling around in your head.
Start up with the commitment question before jumping into a conclusion. Try asking out this question first, "Where are we going with this relationship". Based on his/her reply, then you may ask the tougher and more serious love questions later.
Unless if you were raped by your partner, never blame your partner for having sex without being loved when you found out the he/she never really loved you. Why? Because it's always your fault by being stupid to not study your partner's intention very well.
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