What makes me "berkira" on others.

I am not the kind of person who counts on every favor I've done towards people. Let alone to actually ask for another favor in return of the favor I've done to people. I mean, it's a favor. It's suppose to be free, sincere, honest and precious.

I have always consider myself as a good person. Of course I'm not an angel since I do have little bit of negativity here and there, but as long as I don't commit crimes that will convict myself as criminals and be put behind bars for the sake of the people around me, then I'm good.

I was always told not to contribute difficulties and distress to people around me. I was also told to do everything I can to solve my own problems before asking for help from other people. Most of all, I am trained to do things that I can do by my own without needing people to push or pursue me first. I was told to never ever let others do or deal with my work or mess and also not to point and giving orders to people to do work that I can or suppose to do unless if I am the legal big boss or mandur. The people who have raised me with these precious lessons of life are both my parents.

Thank you Lord for giving me good friends that have contributed so many ideas and physical work in every team work I had in the past. I also thank Him for giving me bad friends. I may be angry on having the thought of knowing them and also about all the bad things they've done to me, but I have never regret knowing them because if I haven't met them, I wouldn't know how to live, accept people for their good and bad, or even deal my life by working with other people.

Like I've mentioned earlier, I consider myself a good person. I admit that I have been a bad person sometime but it never was my intention to be the bad person. I blame the bad people for turning me evil. People provoke and use me and I usually realize it later because I am not the kind of person to syak wasangka on others to take advantage on me. Unless if I am about to help or work with someone bad, my mind is free from bad feelings when working with someone new or those who have always been good to me.

I really enjoy working in group if my team mate all work together and CARE about the datelines and the work qualities. If my team mate are great as I've mentioned, even though I have to contribute large amount of money to buy things for the work, I won't berkira. After all, the times I spent working happily with my great team mates worth more than the money I've contribute. All the sweet working together memory will last forever.

Working with team mates who contribute less idea, money and energy but still appreciates my work is still good. However, working with people who not only contribute less in all matter but also give bad critics of my hard work or blaming me for the low average mark, now THAT is what make me berkira to that person. This kind of person will also make me talk bad behind their back and I may be a back stabber against them someday (so far my social life record's free from any back stabbing activity!).

I am very sorry if I have ever hurt your feelings knowing that I talk bad behind your back. Sometimes I don't realize I over reacted and being loud on my bad talks. The only reason to why I do the bad things on you is because I don't know that you actually have feelings. I mean, if you do, you probably won't menyusahkan me on the first place. I rephrase this once again. I AM A GOOD PERSON. That's why your bad deeds hurt me so much and triggered me to talk bad behind your back because I am NOT used to menyusahkan orang.